From my earliest memory, my father was bald and was not bothered by it in the least. He was a tall, athletic, handsome man who was always amused at the guys who do the famous “comb over” or choose to wear a toupee. He would comment, “Do they really think we can’t tell they are going bald? Why are they trying to hide it? They have perfect heads like me and should be proud!”

I suspect my Dad knew it had far less to do with hair than it did a perceived inadequacy. Somehow, they thought that covering up their baldness hid what they thought were their inadequacies.

Kids alter their appearance all of the time. They say it is the coolest new fashion, and they want to be with it. I can’t help thinking that this game of “dress up” is less about personal expression and more about covering up what they don’t want us to see. Green hair, multiple piercings, Goth make-up, hoodies, sagging pants…whatever is in at the moment…it’s all just wrapping paper.

The appearance of the package doesn’t really affect the tremendous changes and struggles they will go through as they grow into adulthood. In some ways their appearance covers up some of the real issues they are still resolving within themselves.

Some of us even do this while dealing with our weight-control issues. Sometimes, we are tempted to hide behind loose-fitting clothes or hide in the very back of a picture as we work to overcome what is eating us. Our real strength is in accepting who we are right now and in celebrating that we are finding the best way to move forward. The next time we stand in front of a mirror, let’s look beyond the reflection (the appearance on the outside) to see what’s really inside us. Then, accept where we are….and move forward.

You are looking fabulous, darling!

I Care, Barb