The formal definition of “stress” is a specific response by the body to a stimulus, as fear or pain, which disturbs or interferes with the normal physiological equilibrium of an organism. A less formal definition is the importance we attach to something. In either case, stress (if we allow it) can overwhelm us, effectively bringing our daily lives to a standstill. It is important to note, however, that stress is self-imposed. As the definition suggests, it is the importance WE attach to something. In truth, stress only exists in our mind. You can’t go to the store and buy stress! There are no stress factories which manufacture it. The truth is you can’t see it, smell it or touch it. You only imagine it!
Please don’t misunderstand; I am not downplaying the power stress can have on an individual. I am emphasizing the power we have to choose how we respond and the difference that makes. I recently received an email from a dear friend who has been struggling with stress for several years. She wanted to share a technique she had learned that seemed to be helping her cope positively. She placed a rubber band on her wrist as a stimulus for change. She was learning that it was not rational to attach stress to things which were out of her control. Every time she finds herself getting upset or stressed by something, she snaps the rubber band against her wrist as a reminder that she is in control. There was a little pain associated with the snap of the rubber band. However, when she chose to let it go, no pain, and she could move forward. She was learning that, while she cannot control everything that happens to or around her, she can control her response. The bottom line is that she chooses not to become stressed by things she cannot change.
Do you have things in your life, over which you have no control, where you are spending time, energy and emotion stewing over? Things happen. The good news is while you may not be in control of the situation, you are in control of how your mind handles it. Interestingly, if you find yourself stressing over things out of your control and choosing to cope in an unhelpful way, you can “snap” yourself back into reality with something as simple as a rubber band!
By Diane B April 19, 2018
This really helped me a lot! I have a very stressful living situation for the apast two years now, with no end in sight!! I am going to use the rubber band technique to try to diffuse some of the skirmishes. If I don’t engage, how can they argue? Worth a try.
By Pam Hohenstreet August 1, 2017
Barb I enjoyed your IRD comments. Have you thought about making it a program for TOPS. I think it would be excellent. I forgot my notebook during your comments I could remember everything you said. But, I would love to have cliff notes on the speech if possible. Thank You
By Sharon Gembicki August 27, 2017
It would be so great to get a copy of your comments. Especially for TOPS members that were unable to attend IRD. Those of us that cannot travel miss out on your wisdom.
By Jean clow July 12, 2017
Will try it ..
By Rena Sandquist July 11, 2017
I will try this technique. Stress is a big issue with me and so many other’s out there. Thank you!
By Arlene F. Clayton July 10, 2017
Stress has many disguises from migraine headaches to frantic eating although the eater knows that the results of the eating is more stress.
By Irene Harps July 10, 2017
Way back when….in my thirties…..I suffered from anxiety, panic disorder, etc because I could not deal with stress. At that time, I learned several techniques and as the saying goes, “You’ve come a long way Baby!” now applies to me. However I do find myself with often unrealistic expectations in particular of my husband and I am so easily frustrated. This lack of patience really annoys me. I am going to try this ‘rubber band’ technique. It just may be the fix that I am looking for. I enjoyed your article. Thank you.