And the last in the series of lessons shared by our Board members comes from TOPS Second Vice President and Service Program Administrator, Deanna Bies.
Deanna Bies Lesson
Eating Is Freedom
I’ve been thinking recently about my weight-loss journey. I remember having been viewed as overweight throughout my teenage years, even though the actual number on the scale didn’t really indicate it—my body did—or so I was told. In thinking back, that started the eating habits that I still struggle with many years later. In the 1960s, the trend was starving yourself to lose the weight. That started my private eating battle.
When I was pregnant with my first child, I remember thinking I could now eat anything I wanted because I was going to gain weight anyway. It was freeing and I felt empowered in a way I’d never felt before. I just thought the weight would fall off as soon as the baby was born. I gained 60 pounds with that pregnancy and was around 200 pounds when my son was born. The memory of stepping on the scale after his birth and only losing 10 pounds is still vivid in my mind. I had just lost my “freedom” of eating.
Now my youngest of three children is 50 years old and I’m still struggling. I’ve lost and gained large amounts of weight numerous times. When I almost get to that “magic” number on the scale, my mind seems to kick into overdrive and starts thinking once again that my “freedom” will be gone forever. I make a choice at that moment and it usually sends me in the direction I don’t really want to go.
Instead, I’m working on reversing that conversation in my head. I try to think every day I’m on this healthy journey that I am GAINING my “freedom.” By making my own choices and owning those choices, I can eat and be healthy because it’s MY choice. Not because everyone around me is pushing me in that direction.
It’s difficult to get the negative talk out of our heads, but we have to take back our power and push the naysayers away. The memories we have of our journeys will direct our futures—if we let them. So let’s make our journey positive—every day—in some way.
By June Meadows December 8, 2020
I think it’s powerful too. My dad used to say “she’s not fat she’s big boned” and I believed him.
By Very good story I like this it is definitely your thinkingArlene December 8, 2020
Very good story I like this it is definitely your thinking
By Judy Hackerd December 8, 2020
You’re “story” couldJ easily be mine. Our last meeting I was 3/4 lbs out of leeway. Now not being able to meet until who knows when; the possibility of losing status looms ahead. Somehow I can’t wrap my head around it.
By linda sommers December 8, 2020
Wow! This I understand perfectly. I always “joke” that in the 8th grade, we had to give the teacher our weight (for some unknown reason?). I lied about my weight already… to a nun even! Now, as a KOPS, even my driver’s license has my correct weight. But I still, sometimes, need to remind myself that I am free to eat what I want.. and I don’t want more than I need.
By Deann Bies December 8, 2020
I LOVE what you say in your last paragraph – so powerful!
By Wanda Jewett December 8, 2020
I think you are right when you say that our negative talk damages our journey to health. In fact I think that the negative messages we send ourselves hurt more than anything anyone else can think or say…..at least we recognize that hurt; we don’t always recognize the hurt we cause to ourselves.
By Wanda Jewett December 8, 2020
I think you are right when you say that our negative talk damages our journey to health. In fact I think that the negative messages we send ourselves hurt more than anything anyone else can think or say…..at least we recognize that hurt; we don’t always recognize the hurt we cause to ourselves.
By Rosie Treadway January 20, 2021
I start out good and then it goes down hill around Wednesday. I always disappoint myself. Thanks for this uplifting words. I am starting over today. Thanks again.
By Barb Maas December 7, 2020
I posted a comment earlier today but I don’t see it so I’ll repeat it because I think your idea of gaining your freedom thru eating right is wonderful. It’s the opposite of food deprivation thinking that is bad. When we met, my chapter often talked of delicious restaurant meals they had, favorite pizza places, what they baked, etc. so it made it hard to look at eating from a gaining freedom perspective. I put a note in my kitchen to remind me of looking at my eating this way. Thank you for this thought.
By sara singer December 8, 2020
Thank you for the most thought provoking article. I am nearly at my goal and like so many of us I have had a weight problem most of my life.There are times when I fall off the wagon and have a sweet binge like yesterday and then I give myself a talking too.
We are not perfect and I realize how far I have come in the last 12 years I have lost 24 ponds and have kept them off but it has been a struggle
With the holidays coming up your article was so appropriate Thank you so much
By Teena Conrad December 7, 2020
This is a very powerful message. This really resonated with me, “I try to think every day I’m on this healthy journey that I am GAINING my “freedom.” By making my own choices and owning those choices, I can eat and be healthy because it’s MY choice. Not because everyone around me is pushing me in that direction.” Thank you to Deanna Bies.
By Wendy Beaulieu December 7, 2020
This is wonderful for you to share this! I say this a lot: “eating well and exercising are signs of self-respect.” We’re worth taking care of and feeling fit and healthy. Congratulations on your success!
By Janet Long December 7, 2020
Very good information. I hadn”t thought of my journey as a freedom choice. Thanks again & be safe.
By Gina Brueske December 7, 2020
So very true Deanna. Enjoyed your message. We must think positive and focused. Thanks for sharing.
By Barb Maas December 7, 2020
‘Gaining’ our freedom vs thinking food deprivation…what a wonderful approach. When we met, my Tops chapter often focused on describing wonderful restaurant meals in great detail, favorite pizza take out, desserts they bake, etc. so sometimes it was hard for me to think of eating well as the progress it is. What a great idea … I’m going to keep my focus on gaining my freedom as you suggest. Thank you so much.