My dear friend Deanna first introduced me to Jon Gordon and the danger of “Energy Vampires” getting aboard “The Energy Bus” I am driving.
According to Mr. Gordon, “An Energy Vampire is a person who will suck the life out of you with their tedium and monotony, leaving you bored, irritated, threatened or depressed. They are virtually incapable of seeing things from another person’s perspective. Lacking in empathy, they will take all they can from you. Avoid.”
I dare say that I have encountered a few such folks in my journey. They did seem to focus on trying to bring me down and were exhausting.
My father told me when I was a young girl that a true friend is a priceless, empowering and extremely rare treasure. He said that if I could fill the fingers of one hand with true friends, I was rich beyond all measure.
From Winnie the Pooh to Ernest Hemingway, there is tremendous agreement on what a friend is and how rarely they are found. Songwriters from Bill Withers to Bruno Mars celebrate the core values that a special friend has and the importance of such a person in your life. Songs like “Lean On Me,” “You’ve Got A Friend,” and “Bridge Over Troubled Water” are just a few that speak to the importance of friendship.
Below are some key characteristics of a friend.
- Trustworthy
- Honest
- Attentive
- Fun
- Loyal
- Caring
- Good Listener
- Nonjudgmental
- Supportive
- Forgiving
- Helpful
Friendship endures and stands the test of time. A key factor to achieving our goals is to surround ourselves with real friends who are powerful, positive supporters. They help celebrate our accomplishments without envy or jealousy. They listen and support when we face disappointment, pain or hardship. They don’t walk away when the going gets tough. They ask meaningful, thought-provoking questions that most people won’t. They will not enable our bad choices or accept our excuses. They listen deeply rather than talk about themselves or try to one-up our experiences. They challenge us to grow and grow with us. They say what they mean and mean what they say as they walk beside us.
I am blessed beyond belief to have a handful of such people and dote on them regularly. I hope you have even more friends to help you in your journey.
I Care, Barb
By Rebecca Achilles April 28, 2021
Such wise words to heed! Negative people are always on the prowl! No one needs that kind of influence around them! Find positive people & they will find you! Thanks Barb for once again nailiit!
By Phyllis Adams April 28, 2021
Very insightful, I would love to share with my friends.I hope it is allowed.
By Irene R April 27, 2021
Thank you for this essay. I agreed whole heartedly on true friendship. I also admit that we have transitory, albeit true, friends that move in and out of our lives: for one reason or another, someone comes in and out of one’s life for a special season and then moves on. I’ve had those relationships myself. However, who is going to love those negative, life-sapping people? As a Christian, I believe I (we) have an obligation to love the unlovable and extend friendship. Someone needy appreciates a sympathetic ear and time spent together. When this has occurred in my life, it has been temporary friendship, and I went into it ‘guarded’ and watchful of personal information that I shared. A lot of folks out there need therapy which I cannot give. Others are just Grumpy! Thanks again.
By sara lever April 27, 2021
Hi Barb I am a retired nurse and I still have two very close friends from our training days We were called the three musckateers
In my work life I did have one client who really pulled me down It took a long time to get her out of my life
I now only have friends that are uplifting and true to you
Thank you for great thoughts
By Maimie April 27, 2021
Thank you Barb! I’ve got to go and listen to “You’ve Got a Friend”… it’s been a long time since I’ve heard that song!!! Thank Goodness for the Internet! While I’m there, I’ll listen to “Lean on Me” and “Bridge over Trouble Waters”, too!!
Take Care. Stay Safe….
By Colleen Stamberger April 27, 2021
This one really hit home. Thanks for all the work you do for TOPS.
By CK April 27, 2021
A BIG AMEN TO THAT!!! (Will add that we are def. blessed to have TOPS w/all the leaders who make a difference online; i.e., especially, Carol H., Barb C., & Deanna B.!!!)
By Kathie Friesen April 27, 2021
I must admit that over the years, it is hard to find a true friend. I am blessed to have found one although I have not seen for years, I feel has always been my friend. If anyone can say they have that one true friend, they are blessed.
By Gina April 26, 2021
Thanks. So very true.
By Debra Bomba April 26, 2021
Such true words to live by. Thank you. Deb
By Debbie April 26, 2021
Hi Barb! Thank You for another great blog. Very meaningful, Debbie 🙂