Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn’t know it so it goes on flying anyway.”
Mary Kay Ash

We rarely go out in search of hardship, pain, trauma, or heartbreak. However, they often come in search of us, and when they do, they can provide invaluable learning experiences. In the presence of boundless, unbearable pain–the loss of a loved one, one’s health, or one’s career prospects–we experience a sense of powerlessness. But it’s at such a moment, when we acknowledge that powerlessness and recognize that there are things we simply can’t control, that we become open to profound learning. In the face of great pain, when perhaps for the first time in our lives we are forced to admit we don’t have all the “answers,” we can begin to ask the right “questions.”

I have actually heard fellow TOPS members say that reaching their goals might be easier if they had developed a life-threatening disease related to the extra pounds they carry! In fact, for many people who have been successful in this complex journey, their progress is often linked to a major, catastrophic health issue like a heart attack, a stroke, or diabetic episode. Somewhere within us lies a core of power which we can tap. It is tied strongly to intense desire. When we desire to live, we can access our personal power. This does not mean that all other desires disappear. Competing desires are among the big reasons that people fail to make changes in their lives. They may claim a lack of willpower, but they don’t notice the effects of conflicting desires on their habitual choices.

Let’s suppose that someone wants to eat healthier but keeps finding it too tempting to pass up dessert or give up those potato chips as a snack. The desire for the pleasure associated with the snack competes with the intent to eat healthy.

So we argue with ourselves over the two choices, and this zaps our energy and confuses real desire. Then, if we chose whatever the temptation is, we often become our own worst critics, labeling ourselves as failures who lack both willpower and discipline. This is definitely NOT positive self-talk!

The problem for many of us isn’t that we lack willpower, time, discipline or desire. It is that we are already investing our time, discipline, and desire in defining ourselves as failures.

We must become strong encouragers and supporters of our best actions and tap into the core desire we hold most dear. One very effective method of strengthening your will power is to refrain from agreeing with these sabotaging thoughts that the voice in our head proposes. We must not allow ourselves to be overcome by the challenge. Too often we fail to see the opportunity it affords us.

Do not become powerless in dealing with the challenges of your life. Remind yourself as Kathryn Stockett writes in The Help, “You is kind. You is smart. You is important!”

I Care, Barb