Being there for each other is such a core component of TOPS!
TOPS pals and coworkers are great supporters, but cannot be with me 24/7.
So, another essential element of my journey to my best health is learning to be my own cheerleader.
I also need to support myself in order to be there for others who need me. Sometimes, the harshest critic of me is ME.
Words matter so much — and the words I keep saying to myself have power.
Here are four core areas within each of us, that we can explore as we support our own journeys:
- Unrealistic expectations: Setting the bar so high that you could not possibly reach it; this may make you want to quit before you start. That first bar needs to be one you can almost reach. You can always raise the bar, one step at a time.
- Attempts to please others: No matter how hard you try, you cannot please everyone all the time. I can give my best and treat others with honesty, kindness and respect. My happiness is not dependent on whether others think this is enough.
- Perfectionism: Give yourself and those around you permission to have limitations, make mistakes, to fail and to learn as we go along our paths. I have probably learned a lot more through the years from my missteps than I have from my successes. Overall, things turned out well. Celebrate imperfections. All of us have them.
- Social comparison: It is normal to look around and notice what others are doing. It is not so helpful if we place values on those observations and always find ourselves lacking in some way. All of us do better in some areas and less well in others. Focusing on what “they” have that is “better” can devalue ourselves.
A negative self-opinion can certainly affect the way we function in the workplace, in daily social situations, family relationships and romantic relationships. Also, it can undermine goal setting and decision-making. A positive self-image empowers making important decisions, taking risks, connecting with others and reaching goals. Stay in the present and focus on how far you have come.
- Take inventory of your strengths and build on them
- Accept compliments from others and give some to yourself.
- Learn from your mistakes and forgive yourself.
- Be as kind to yourself as you would be to another person.
- Keep cheering yourself forward! You are with the effort.
Learning as I go, Barb
By Shirley Renaud September 14, 2022
You did it again Barb. We are definitely worth the effort! We too often beat ourselves up not realizing what damage is really being done!
Thank you for your positive words again!
By Jean September 14, 2022
I needed to hear this today.. I am my own worst enemy..I often say to myself why don’t I talk to myself like I talk to others ? Why don’t I say its OK , to myself as I do others . I needed to hear this today to remind myself to be kind to * Me *
Thanks Barb
By Patty Carter September 13, 2022
Thanks Barb. I really enjoyed this. Good reminders to treat ourselves right.
By Ron Wenberg September 13, 2022
Another great positive message. I’m going to use it for a program for our chapter and ask anyone that’s wants to if they have any issues about the 4 points! Thanks Barb!
By Linda Lachance September 13, 2022
So good Barb. I needed these reminders. Thank you.
By ELEANOR D BERBERICK September 13, 2022
Always a gr8 reminder for everyone. Thanks for all you do to support all of the TOPS family.
By Eva Stone September 12, 2022
Great advice and encouragement.
By Linda Durant September 12, 2022
So true. In order to be there for, and support those around us we must first take care of ourselves—physically mentally, spiritually. How many tell ourselves things, negative comments, that we would never say to another person— but yet we put ourselves down all the time. I am guilty of that but trying to treat myself better. I deserve it !
By EVE September 12, 2022
Great article….we are our own worst critic and demand a much higher bar for ourselves then we expect from others and beat ourselves up when we disappoint ourselves which more often then not causes us to fall back into unhealthy habits
By Gina Brueske September 12, 2022
Thanks. The most important person in your life is YOU. Treat yourself with respect. We are what we think