When your people talk, do you listen? It is interesting to notice that the word “listen” is an anagram for “silent”…same letters, different order. Perhaps there is a subliminal message there! When you take the time to drop everything, look someone in the eye, and say, “I am listening,” you empower that person in a way that goes beyond words. It is important to remember that the best supporter is not the one with the loudest voice, but the readiest ear.
Here is the paradox of empowerment: the moment you truly begin to empower someone, you empower yourself. If listening does not come naturally to you, then remember that you must be silent to listen. Each meeting, fellow members give out hundreds of cues about how they feel and what they are thinking…cues you may miss if you are not listening. Use these cues to empower them, to encourage their efforts and to believe in themselves. It is important that we use our ears first, and the influence of our voices later!
The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.”
Ralph G Nichols
You cannot be a good listener if you are doing all the talking. While listening is only one of a number of important skills necessary to empower others, it may be the most critical. The beauty of empowerment is in creating an environment where we feel valued and free to take initiative. The more they are willing to actively listen to each other, the more chapter members will coach one another, motivate one another, confront one another (kindly) and bond into the strongest team.
Listen with the intent to understand, not the intent to reply.
Stephen Covey
By Ellen R. Alston February 27, 2016
I really like what you were saying about our members gives us clues every week, we just need to listen. I will take that to heart and listen more to the clues they are saying and try to help them in that area. This will also work at home with my family.
Sometimes teenagers don’t always come right out and tell what they what to say. But if I listen and pick up on clues, I can help them there also.
Thank You
By Barb Cady March 1, 2016
I remember my Grandmother used to tell us that the reason we had two ears and one mouth was because listening was so important… we needed to do it twice as much.
By Guest February 25, 2016
Barb you are so right about listening being much more than the words that are spoken. I don’t care who you are, you cannot multitask if you are truly listening. If you are a leader or another member and are doing paperwork while someone is talking to you and you are not looking at the person then you are not listening. Listening like Barb said requires more than just hearing the words. It requires you to pay attention to the tone of voice to the body language to the expression on the face. If I can’t look at someone who is talking to me I feel I am being very rude. So please keep this in mind to be truly listening you have to be looking at the person. Everyone have a great day!
By Guest February 21, 2016
You can learn more by learning how to listen, then listening to learn more. That’s what i learned 22 years ago at a Na.org 12 step meetings in Hempstead, NY…. I love it and still do!! Clean from cocaine for over 22 years. Later, dinner ready now….. Linda