Who do you spend the most time with? Who are the people you most admire? Are those two groups of people the same? If not, why not? The people with whom you habitually associate are called your “reference group.” According to research by social psychologist Dr. David McClelland of Harvard, your “reference group” determines as much as 95 percent of your success or failure in life.
I recently read these words in Darren Hardy’s The Compound Effect and was immediately struck by the fact that I spend the overwhelming majority of my time with a group of people seeking successful ways to manage their weight. Are they my “reference group”? Do they determine 95 percent of my success or failure in life? Perhaps I am their “reference group” and am an important part of determining 95 percent of their success or failure in life. In either case, I am sure we are influencing each other in more ways than we care to admit. I know I am a healthier, more caring facilitator and person because of my experiences with these determined people. I hope they become healthier, happier and more empowered because of their experiences with me.
Who composes your own “reference group”? Self-help guru Jim Rohn taught that we become the combined average of the five people we hang around the most. We eat what they eat, talk like they talk, read what they read, think like they think, watch what they watch, treat people like they treat them and even dress like they dress. So … who is influencing you?
By Gloria Pertson May 29, 2017
Your latest post regarding reference groups is so valid. I see it in our local TOPS group and view these people as enablers (another description for your “reference group”). I do not belong to this group as I believe they would have influenced/prevented my journey to my KOPS status. I am hopeful they will change some habits that will help them to succeed. Ironically, they help me stay strong because I don’t want to be like them and backslide.
By Ron Wenberg May 29, 2017
WOW! Some deep thinking in this post. I guess I’ve always called my reference group my friends. Or probably my family and I don’t eat like they do, well sorta. With family, they come over once a week for dinner and they eat what I fix. They’ll have buns with their brats, I don’t. I always have the fresh fruit and they do eat that, rather enjoy it too. This weekend I fixed my homemade coleslaw and told them it was my recipe and they ate it not knowing it was healthier than regular coleslaw. Gotta trick them into eating healthier sometimes. For sure they don’t watch the same things we watch on TV or movies. So I may spend 95% of my time with family but they don’t influence me that much. I’m MY own woman – person. Love your post today.