{"id":86,"date":"2022-08-26T14:56:10","date_gmt":"2022-08-26T14:56:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.tops.org\/tops-of-mind\/?p=86"},"modified":"2022-08-31T19:41:17","modified_gmt":"2022-08-31T19:41:17","slug":"what-is-fat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.tops.org\/tops-of-mind\/what-is-fat\/","title":{"rendered":"What is ‘fat?’"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\"Analisa,
Analisa, age 6\/Studio 29 Photography<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Just a few weeks ago, my daughter and I were reading the Junie B. Jones series (awful books, by the way; I have no idea what prompted me to order them off Amazon earlier this summer \u2013 even the grammar is purposefully bad!<\/em>), when my little gal came across a word that is not new, but I discovered it\u2019s new to her: and that word was FAT.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Junie called one of her classmates \u201cYou big fat meanie,\u201d or something comparable, which I didn\u2019t love — and although I try to \u201cread around\u201d the author\u2019s cutesy poor sentence structure, I missed this one. Before I knew it, the words were flying out of my mouth, and our 6-year-old, Analisa, stopped me dead in my tracks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWait. What is that?\u201d she interrupted my reading.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat is what?\u201d I responded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Junie B. Jones, or, the author, I should say, has introduced my children to several topics that I wish she hadn\u2019t \u2013 in one of the books, Junie doesn\u2019t want to get on her school bus at the end of the day, so she HIDES in her classroom at dismissal time, and makes a huge mess free-roaming the school, then calls 911 at some point when she realizes the whole charade has gone too far. Sheesh! I\u2019ve found to use Junie as a poor example, and I try to react incredulously to my kids, as the story progresses, like, \u201cWhyyyy in the world would Junie do any of that?\u201d And my children stare back at me wide-eyed, as if to say, \u201cI have not the slightest idea.\u201d All in all, I\u2019m not too worried that Junie\u2019s antics will be contagious \u2013 although I won\u2019t<\/strong> be buying this series anymore!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to my recent FAT story though, \u201cWhat is that?\u201d Ana repeated up at me, with her inquisitive, big green eyes, full of wonder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat word are we talking about here, little lady?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I just wanted to be sure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFat. What does it mean to be fat?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In that moment, all the emotions just washed over me. Ana had been cooped up in our house for the better part of two years, as were most children during the recent pandemic, and we were coming off an out-of-state move, but she\u2019s not exactly sheltered. I try to protect her from the sometimes-harsh realities of the world, but she goes to school in-person these days, as she has for quite some time now, she’s got plenty of friends and social interaction, and she\u2019s even turning 7 this coming December. I\u2019m about to have a first-grader, in the next few weeks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was taken aback, like, she\u2019d never heard the word FAT?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I\u2019ll admit, I was slightly proud of myself in that moment, as her mother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am in no way the perfect mom \u2013 who among us is? \u2013 although I think it\u2019s admirable that we all try our very best, day in and day out. Still, I have made a conscious effort, basically from the time Ana was born, not to throw \u201cthe F word\u201d around while she\u2019s in my presence. The F word being \u201cfat,\u201d of course!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Raising a daughter is a huge responsibility. Raising a son is too, but that\u2019s another topic for another day. I do think so many of us learn from a young age, sometimes from our moms and the adult women around us, that \u201cfat\u201d is bad, and something to fear, and that we should be hyper-aware of food, diet, exercise, counting calories \u2013 all that \u201cdiet culture\u201d stuff, which, in moderation, it isn\u2019t always BAD, per se. And for adults, there\u2019s often nothing wrong with being conscious of these things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But for children, this is an important time, developmentally, when they should be concentrating on all the other stuff: Playing with their friends. Adjusting to the routine of a school day. Catching fireflies in a mason jar before bed. Eating a drippy ice cream cone on a hot summer evening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’ve always made it a point never to let my daughter see me scoff at my own appearance, or do any negative self-talk, or criticize myself out loud if I\u2019m looking a little \u201cpuffy\u201d in a certain outfit or dress. (And I\u2019m not immune to it! It happens to all of us, right?)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And honestly, this whole Junie B. \u201cWhat is fat?\u201d conversation kind of made my heart swell with pride, like I mentioned, if I can be candid for a moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019re living in a time when people love to say things like, \u201cEveryone\u2019s so sensitive nowadays!\u201d or \u201cYou can\u2019t say ANYTHING without offending people!\u201d … and whether you agree with that or not, I think it\u2019s time to consider that our words matter \u2013 so much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Language reflects and influences attitudes \u2013 and the attitudes of the people around us. I\u2019m a writer, so it should come as no surprise that I believe in the power of words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Words matter. The language we choose has the power to shape ideas and feelings: Our own, and others\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s all about how you frame something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remember my daughter asking me, when I was training for the 10-mile CRIM Race in Flint, Michigan, just six months after having my son, \u201cWhy are you running so much lately, Mommy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I did grow up a bit of a runner, but it had been years since I\u2019d been regular, so at the beginning, this was a new sight for her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The real answer? Well, I thought it\u2019d motivate me to kick some of that baby weight, of course!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But what did I tell her? (Which I do believe, by the way!) \u201cRunning makes us so strong! It keeps my heart healthy and it\u2019s a great way to burn off energy and keep my body feeling balanced and just right.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019d lace up my tennis shoes and put on some headphones and she\u2019d join me, if only just for a quick jaunt around the backyard. It was heartwarming, really. She\u2019d say, \u201cSomeday I\u2019m going to run in a race, just like Mommy!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or if Ana\u2019s been eating too many packets of fruit snacks, or just empty carbs for breakfast one morning, and she comes to me still hungry, or with an upset tummy, or there\u2019s any issue surrounding food, I truly try to focus on teaching her how those things make her FEEL, not look. \u201cLet\u2019s add an egg or some string cheese to the equation \u2013 or does a yogurt sound better? Something that gives you protein, or helps fill that belly up!\u201d, or an observation along the lines of, \u201cSounds like your tummy’s not feeling great. Maybe you had too many treats? It\u2019s so<\/em> important to listen to our bodies. We take breaks when we eat, we drink plenty of water, and you want to make sure you\u2019re not overdoing it, otherwise we might feel a little sick.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These days, my husband and I are pregnant with our third baby, and now that I\u2019m into my third trimester, my stomach has grown quite round in recent weeks. Ana will sometimes watch me change my shirt and say, \u201cYour tummy is getting SO big, Mommy!\u201d But instead of lamenting it or complaining that none of my clothes fit just right, I\u2019d rather smile and make the message, \u201cAren\u2019t women\u2019s bodies incredible? We can grow babies, right in here, just like I grew you!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I would never call myself fat or pinch an arm roll or do any of the destructive things that, I\u2019ll be honest, I think I overheard from some adults in my life over the years, even starting as a small child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t even go on to have a complicated relationship with food, and I lived a fairly active and healthy adolescence \u2026 but what we hear from the grown-ups around us can really resonate, and echo loudly in our little ears. I wanted to be careful about this, and I was, and it seems like so far, it\u2019s paying off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m just so glad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want my daughter to be strong and healthy, and learn good intuition when it comes to eating and her habits. I want her to strive for strength, rather than just some tiny waist size, and be impressed by her own body, even if that just means admiring her ability to run a mile or survive a tough hike.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ll take this time to pat you on the backs, as well, and not just myself, haha, but honestly, I admire ALL of you TOPS members \u2013 women and men, parents and non-parents, for continuing on in your journey to better health.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re setting such a strong example for the next generation. Whether it\u2019s your kids, your grandkids, yourselves, your community members — this is what we need. It\u2019s incredible. And it’s not going unnoticed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you\u2019re on the fence about joining, or re-joining us over at TOPS, consider doing it for your own daughter, or the daughter figure in your life. Be the change you wish to see!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I did put the book down and tell Ana that day, what it meant to be \u201cfat,\u201d and I hope I did an OK job in my explanation. I also said that we would never use that word toward anyone else, and how careful we have to be when we\u2019re talking about someone else\u2019s physical appearance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can only shield your kids for so long, and I was happy to share. After all, it’s just a word — and with the proper context, I think she’ll do fine with it. It was important to me, not to make it big, scary or loaded. But she seemed to understand, and I’m just so proud of the girl she’s growing up to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I keep thinking the hard parts with Ana are almost done (potty training, getting her to sleep on a regular schedule, all the \u201cbaby\u201d aspects of motherhood), but that discussion was just a reminder: The challenges don\u2019t go away, they just change and evolve as the years tick by. Hopefully I can keep doing right by her, because she\u2019s a little voice who matters. Our kids can change the world someday if we let them \u2013 and teach them just how much our words really matter.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cWhat is that?\u201d Ana asked up at me, with her inquisitive, big green eyes, full of wonder and bewilderment.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":92,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[19,20,8],"class_list":["post-86","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-miscellaneous","tag-motherhood","tag-parenthood","tag-tops"],"yoast_head":"\r\nWhat is 'fat?' - TOPS of Mind<\/title>\r\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u201cWhat is that?\u201d Ana asked up at me, with her inquisitive, big green eyes, full of wonder and bewilderment.\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\r\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.tops.org\/tops-of-mind\/what-is-fat\/\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What is 'fat?' - 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